Heyho. Assalamualaikum. Lama tak menulis kat sini. Kan kan kannn *kelip-kelip mata bajet comel jap*
Before, I didn’t write on purpose while I was thinking that me is not myself anymore. Tapi kebelakangan ni, I didn’t write because I keep wanting to tell someone my worries and stories that I have nothing left to be share here. Hahaha. Bias begitu.
Anyway, during past Ramadhan and Syawal, I get to know two human beings whom somewhat change something in me.
Person number 1.
I found this person weird enough at the start that I kept concerning about beliau. (tak boleh guna his/her ditakuti ketahuan jantinanya hahahaha) yeah seriously I am interested enough that I kept asking if beliau tak datang ke kelas.
Beliau is somewhat very different than me. Tapi as I get to know beliau, beliau ni selalu bagi advice yang saya sendiri tak dapat nak fikir. And beliau say what you have to hear and not what you want to hear. At the end of the day, I found myself cherishing everything that beliau said and even doing things that I didn’t want to do just because beliau yang suruh. *you are that kind of person to me didchu know?*
But at one point I’m thinking that I keep leaning toward beliau too much, I’m feeling beliau might be hating me now. Hahahaha. And so I keep running away. But finally I realized I am just running in a circle that I find beliau again after one complete lap. Macam novel-novel tak perasaan gua? Hahahaha. Booooo :P
Beliau sangat annoying kengkadang. But then I found me saying to myself “you must be liking beliau that much huh” . Seriously funny me. I should stop leaning on person who didn’t want me to right?
Person number 2.
I get to know him at the start of the Ramadhan – as an abang. He was sickly sick. At one point he said to me “kalau ada apape masalah, kongsi je dengan abang”. But you know, as someone who is stupidly afraid of attachment, I never share my problem with him pun. I was afraid to get close. Saya kenal dengan dia pun sebab Cik A. But I learn a lot from him too.
He is no longer someone in this world. He passed away two days ago. *Al-fatihah*
I guess I didn’t cry because I see this coming and saya sempat cakap dengan dia sebelum dia koma. Cik A, Cik F dan adik dia, mesti sangat sedih. Because they spend the whole Ramadhan and Syawal with him. And me, I don’t even know what to say to Cik A to keep her stronger. Should I left her alone so that she could cry, or should I go to her and bring those funny variety shows and ask her to laugh with me.
At this kind of time, I keep wanting to talk to person number one. Mungkin beliau boleh bagi nasihat yang saya patut dengar. Tapi saya dah tak sanggup nak biar beliau dengar masalah saya lagi.
Funny me huh.
I open my comment box again after so lo long. Readers, if you are not person number 1, Cik A mahupun Cik F dan adik person number 2, please leave me a comment and tell me what I should do. I kept asking my cats to answer but they won’t talk. Hahaha. Please :)
playlist : Dasoni - Goodbye